Friday, May 15, 2009

Sometimes I lie but I have good intentions

As I mentioned in the previous post, UpTake is a hosting a contest.
Anyone can enter.
The deadline's tonight at midnight.

The prize is a spa getaway in Napa Valley at Silverado Resort for four people.

I admit it, I'd sell my children and run over girl scouts for a chance to win.

See, let me tell it like it is.
People come out of the woodwork for contests.
People with sick kids, hard knock lives and woe-is-me stories.

Do you know how hard it is to compete with Sally Sob Story and Henrietta Handicapped and Tanya Toenail Cancer?

Well, I only have one arm.
And one leg.
And I have fifteen kids (all adopted, of course)...that I home school.

In my free time, I serve soup at the homeless shelter...with my one arm, while balancing on my one leg.

I have no hair, because I donated it all to make wigs for chemo patients.
And I donated all my blood to sick people.
I even had all my teeth pulled to give to toothless people.

Why wait til I'm dead to take my organs?
I have a few I don't need...
I've chopped off a few toes for charity & donated a butt cheek to a good cause.

I recycle, volunteer, teach people to read and care for old people.
I bring food to the hungry in third world countries.

No one's more deserving than me.

So, I win.


Jen said...

You totally win in my book.

Sally-Ann said...

I would award you the prize.

Cristin said...

Lying is my totally should win.

Krystyn @ Really, Are You Serious? said...

Yep, you should totally win!

Keys to the Magic Travel said...

Can I get the information on where I can donate butt cheeks, please?

Erika Jean said...

Lol. Your entry was funny!
I entered too ;-)

Misty DawnS said...

You're always a winner in my book!

Misty DawnS said...

P.S. Could you donate some boobs to me? I qualify as 'needy'.

Justine said...

OMG!!!!!!!! ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!! Can you please tell me what cause you donated your ass to? 'Cause I'd love to get rid of mine!

Justine :o )

Adrienne Zwart said...

Hahaha!! You should totally win for being creative.

Vivienne @ the V Spot said...

I have a muffin top and some cellulite I don't need. Will my donation of these items be tax deductable?

Thanks for stopping by with the SITS Welcome Wagon. Nice to meet you!

Mama Dawg said...


Cellulite Advisor Chick said...

Nice post! This is pretty interesting… I hope you don’t mind if I write about it on my blog and link back to you?

Cellulite: let’s Get Rid of It.