If Gardens are a form of autobiography, then I'm in trouble

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows. My backyard is full of these black-belt masters, let me tell you.

On Pioneer Woman's website recently, she talked about gardening, and it got me thinking. I should really think about gardening in my backyard...or at least making the yard look habitable!

A little history is necessary here. I grew up on a ranch...but have lived in apartments for the last ten years. So, now, having moved to north Texas, we have a house and a yard for the first time in ages, and I don't know what to do with it! We are renting, so I don't want to take on major projects...and I don't have much of a green thumb, but I'd love to learn.

So, I need your help!! Any advice or suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated. Here are lots of pictures of my backyard currently. We will start off with the palm tree (yes, I live in Texas, not Florida, weird). Is the Palm Tree supposed to look like this?


All that brown stuff doesn't look good. So, I'm guessing I need to trim the tree. The only problem with that is that if you look up close, the tree is covered in these sharp, little teeth, every bit of it:

Makes for very painful trimming, I have a feeling. Now, the only bright, pretty flowers in the back right now are the ones my son bought with his grandmother yesterday after building and painting this planter (to add to his collection) in a Home Depot Kids' Workshop (which are free, first Saturday of every month).

The other pretty site in my backyard is this big elm tree. So pretty! Ignore the balls EVERYWHERE in our backyard. They can't seem to stay in the ball basket.

Now, here is a flower bed that needs help. It is FULL of some kind of weird weed, I know not what it's called. I don't seem to speak plant. (also, more basketballs and soccer balls)

This is what the weed looks like up close...

Here is another planter around my gigantic pecan tree that used to have pretty plants that have apparently died over the winter. What should I plant in here? It only gets a few hours of sunlight a day...it's a very shady yard.

See dead plants up close...

I have these interesting planters on the walls...what on earth do I put in them?

My mom gave us this neat bird feeder as a house-warming gift, we kept it filled with bird seed and attracted tons of birds...and a squirrel that learned to hang upside down and shake ALL the bird seed out, the little bugger. So, we didn't refill it for months...but now I am thinking I want those birds back...and even the squirrel! Plus, Annie our lab would love to try and capture that squirrel (he lives in the Pecan tree)...he's her nemisis.

Here's a reminer of what else lives in my backyard at times...Sweet Annie, so all planting needs to keep her in mind. (She's an indoor dog, but likes to make little trips outside during the day to pee and sniff the wind...and search for the squirrel.)

She thinks our garden needs fertilizer...so she leaves copious amounts of this around:

I don't know why she feels the need to leave this on the stepping stones and not in the grass. She also likes to walk on the stepping stones (she's very dainty about getting her paws dirty).

Please help me with my backyard!! I need it. My front yard's not so bad, it looks like this:

Ok, just kidding. That's a neglected mansion in New York. hehe. I'd really like to have my front and backyard looking like this:

This picture was NOT taken by me. This gorgrous photo is courtesy of the magnificent photography of SKeller, and you should check out her blog, Short on Words, for more beautiful pictures.