Monday, April 20, 2009

I don't have eyebrows...but I might have snakes

My feet have suffered this winter.
I ignored them, stuffing them in boots and socks for months.

I clipped nails once or twice, but over all, didn't mess with my toes.

So, now spring has sprung, it's time for open-toed shoes.
And that means pedicure time.

So, about a week or so ago, I had time for the much-needed pedicure.

I got the whole works.
Salt scrubs,
hot wax wraps,
lotion massage,
red polish,

But the sweet young Vietnamese woman wanted to do more to me.
She wanted to give me a manicure.
I'm just so hard on my nails, I wasn't up for a manicure that day.

Then she looked at my eyebrows...and I could read the horror on her face.
So, I let her have her way with me...I mean, my eyebrows.

I'm kind of surprised there was anything to wax or pluck away (she did both).
I barely have any eyebrows at all
and the hair that is there is really light.
But apparently what was there needed tidying up.

Then she looked my upper lip.

I almost started to cry.

I'm not hairy, people!
But some errant hairs are standing up and making themselves seen.
I'm devastated.

And then, I came home to this:

That's the door to our garage.

Oh, hell no.
That's it.
The garage is now dead to me.

I don't deal with snakes.


Christina - Rant Rave Roll said...

Don't worry... We all have stray hair every now & then.

I'm not a big snake fan either.

Unknown said...

Ok...ew on the snakes...and the brows will come back...unfortuntaly/

Screwed Up Texan said...

My kids have had a certain affinity for bugs lately. They've been finding all sorts of creatures outside. They've freaked me out with wolf spiders, centipedes, grub worms, beetles, and the latest..two snakes. My husband thought it would be funny if he kept one of the snakes and took it to work to scare his coworkers. Now the joke is on us, b/c my husband forgot to put a lid on the canning jar he put it in and now there is a loose, wild snake roaming my house somewhere. Somewhere b/c we still can't find it.

Grand Pooba said...

Ok, was that real or was someone so afraid of seeing your mustache that they didn't want you to come inside?

TOTALLY KIDDING! My eyebrows sound just like yours, very thin and very light! I have to die them brown or else they'd disappear all together!

(I think that woman just wanted to get every penny out of you! You very unhairy girl!)

Sprite's Keeper said...

Ugh! Snakes in the garage? I'd move!

Keys to the Magic Travel said...

Did you forget how to say no?! Everytime I go...I get a pedicure. Nothing else. They try to get me to do my nails. But I am not intereseted. They ask about my brows. But, they are just fine. At least I think so.

Keys to the Magic Travel said...

And ummm. What is up with the snakes?!

Anonymous said...

Standard fare for them to ask to pluck and polish anything they can! But you have sweet boys to warn you not to go in the garage!

Susie said...

That mean woman!! She was just trying to make more money by making you feel bad about yourself.

Justine said...

Well where the hell are the pics of your toes and brows? I wanna see!

Were there really snakes in there?

Justine :o )

Keeper of the Skies Wife said...

In once let a woman like that do my eyebrows and I walked away with the thinnest eyebrows EVER!! I was devastated!!

Snakes....not for me, either!

Jen said...

I have had this happen to me before too. Not the snake thing but the waxing thing. What is it with those salon owners? they just don't like hair.

Heidi said...

OMG! Snakes.... We only have an occasional bull snake, garter snake, or pine snake, but you folk have ratlers.... *hair on neck stands up straight and salutes* Thought I would pop on over, havent seen you at my place lately and I miss that pink hat!!!

Cristin said...

Nobody touches my feet. No.Body.

I'm not hairy either.... but I have one issue that I need to tend to before I'm an old lady.. I have a mole under my nose... a freaking Cindy Crawford looking thing, I swear, people used to ask me if it was real... it is. And it grows a couple really gnarly looking hairs... I need that shit lasered off permanently, because when the day comes that I can't tend to it myself... I'll be the scary looking old lady with the big hairy mole. no thanks.

M said...

I think there are some people that are TRAINED to see hairs that no one else would notice!

I'd be boycotting the garage, too! We live in the country and just the idea of seeing snakes makes my stomach turn.

Get yourself a good sharpie for the brows (it's what the kids are doing these days) until they grow back and get a good garden hoe for the snakes!!!!

Misty DawnS said...

I and my female cousins in my family all share the same ummm issues: No boobs, and bushy, thick eyebrows. *sigh*

You want me to come check out the garage for ya? Don't worry Rhea, I'll protect you.

Angie's Spot said...

Girlfriend, I draw the line at snakes too. :-)

I'm about to make my "getting ready for the beach" visit to my waxer in a few weeks. I'm already sore. :-)

Unknown said...

OMG! You may want to steer clear of my latest blog post then!

Linda said...

This made me giggle. The hair removal part, not the snakes. Please, don't open that door! But you should post a photo of your new toes ... that would cheer you up!

Shannon said...

I am in desperate need of a pedi, too. And probably a brow wax, as well.

And I sure hope the snake sign was just a boy thing and not for real. Ew.

P.S... you better come see me today! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Shannon said...

Oh, shoot... I thought I'd be the 1st to tell you! But I forgot I'm an hour ahead of you. Oh, well.

Putting the FUN in DysFUNctional said...

Snakes are my obsessive phobia. Dare I ask...were there REALLY snakes in there? :::shudder:::

Mama Dawg said...

Manicures, Vietnamese women and snakes. What a life you lead!

Lula! said...

I was reading this, smiling a bit, imagining you being horrified at this Vietnamese woman's buffing, exfoliating, polishing, waxing ministrations.

And then got to the signs...and read this:
"Oh, hell no.
That's it.
The garage is now dead to me."

I literally spewed potato chips all over my laptop.

Yes, potato chips. At 9:26 am. It's what Caroline's having for breakfast. Don't judge. It's Earth Day.