My Husband Has A Girlfriend

    
My Husband has a Girlfriend

It was only a matter of time really.
We've been separated for 3 years.
We're still technically married, but we have no plans to get back together.
However, this is the first either one of us has started seeing someone else.
(and since we've been together since we were 13 years old, that's really saying something.)

I'm happy for him, really.
But, I'm definitely a mix of emotions about it all with large streamers of feelings swirling and twirling into a frenzied knot inside my head:

Part of me is happy. This is good for him, emotionally healthy. I want him to be happy.
Part of me is jealous. He's replacing me. He's dating someone else before I am.
Part of me is angry. The kids need to come first. They are now going to have to compete for his time.
Part of me is sad. Our relationship didn't make it. I wish things had been different.

Only time will tell how serious he is about this one.
Or if she will be the first in a series.

I'm happy for him, really.
I just need time to adjust to this new step and all its implications. and I'm a little vulnerable from my village being destroyed.

Lots of people have to deal with dating after divorce.
I'm not the first, I know.
I remember my parents dating after their divorce, and I didn't like it.
I felt like it took away from my relationship with them.
I don't want that for my children.
But, then again, I didn't want my children to have divorced parents either, but that's the path we've taken.

Since he lives in a different town than the kids and I do, we haven't had to deal with any real changes.
But more changes are coming, I know that.

What are your thoughts on dating after divorce?
Wait, maybe we should go ahead and get that divorce first! 

The Magic Room

As young girls, we often dream about romance and our wedding day.

We buy into the Disney Dream, of princes riding up on white horses to rescue us from our ordinary lives.

But that's not usually how things turn out.

These days we have to be our own prince...

work hard to buy our own white horse and rescue ourselves.

And, I have to admit, I'd rather rescue myself than have someone else do it for me.

I just finished reading The Magic Room by Jeffrey Zaslow for the BlogHer Book Club.

It focuses on the a 7-generation Bridal store in Fowler, Michigan, stories about the family who has run it and the brides who buy their dresses there.

The stories were overwhelming.

many different brides and different issues.

But overall it touched on the hope that women have about their weddings

and the dreams parents and grandparents have for their daughters and granddaughters on their wedding day...

and how picking out the dress plays such a huge part of that. 

I married my high school sweetheart at age 19, pregnant and rushed,

but my wedding was magical and wonderful.

Now I'm 34, and I've grown up.

I have two wonderful boys, and I'm separated from my husband. 

I'm a bit bitter about marriage, so reading this book was emotional for me.

I found myself cynical about the love stories.

But, then there's the lining of hope that resides around the edges of this story...and I can't help but feel it.

Hope it such an important aspect in our lives. As is love.

Some of us get it wrong at first.

But that doesn't mean it doesn't exist, right?

Join our discussion about weddings, love and marriage over on BlogHer Book Club.

I was compensated for this BlogHer Book Club review but all opinions expressed are my own.