Return to Sender

Yesterday I received a piece of mail that boggled my mind.
No, not the awesome Secret Santa package, that was GREAT!
Thanks again, Kori for organizing and Hollie for sending me my gift.

Nope, I received a letter
FROM someone in Georgia
TO someone in Connecticut...
that somehow ended up here in Texas.

Baffling.

Scary.

Incompetent?

Anyway, it gave me an idea.

It'd be so fun to have a reality show called Return to Sender,
where we stick a miniature person in a package or two or three...
and see where they end up
and what they go through.

No?
No miniature people willing?
What about an oompah loompah?

Ok, let's try this.

I'll sacrifice for the good of my new show and send my kids.
Because, frankly, although they're cute and adorable,
things haven't been the same since the corn field visit,
(and you know what that means!).

So, here they are, innocent little sweeties suckers,
where I tell them to climb into the "fun truck" to "play."

Oops, looks like Annie joined them.
Oh, well, casualty of war, I guess.

They start to get bored, while I search secretly for the keys to lock them in.

Wait, wait, Remy, where are you going?
Don't get out!
There will be pizza...and, and candy inside there in a minute!

Annie is concerned about where her boy has gone.
He'll be right back Annie, he wanted his shoes.
He'll probably need them where he's going.

See Annie shake paw/hand?!
Isn't she smart?!
I'll miss her.

This is where I tell them to wave at me for the picture.
They do it (because I have them so well trained)
but then ask, "Why?"

And this is where I laugh like a maniac as I slam the door shut,
saying, "Good-bye, suckas!"

They were cute for a while, but I've decided to send them away.

Then my husband comes out of the house to tell me he needs the U-Haul truck to get his desk from storage, and I have to let them out.

Darnit.

Christmas with Aliens - An Interview

It's that time again!

I interviewed my heathen aliens children on a Christmas theme.


Remy is 6.

Donny is 11.

What three things do you really want for Christmas?

Remy: a potty trained puppy, a computer and Bakugan.
Donny: an iPod Touch, a room makeover and a trained owl like Hedwig in Harry Potter. The owl is the most important. (Does Amazon deliver owls, I wonder?)






How do you think Santa does it? (delivers all those presents all over the world in one night)

Remy: He throws all the gifts from the North Pole to kids' houses everywhere. (A man of action, of course)
Donny: He hires elves to dress up as him, each with their own sleigh and reindeer, and they deliver them. (Outsourcing, I like it.)




What does Christmas mean to you?

Remy: Um, let Donny go first.
Donny: It's a time to celebrate, see family and open presents.
Remy: The same. What he said.
Donny: Remy, you can't copy me.
Me: Moving on!




What are your favorite parts of Christmas?

Remy: ummm...opening presents!
Donny: Opening presents, picking out our tree and decorating it.




What are some of your favorite gifts from the past Christmases?

Remy: Guitar Hero last Christmas!



Donny: The cool rock collection and my bike...and all the electronics we've ever received (computer, iPod, game systems, etc over the years).






What are some of your favorite holiday movies?

Remy: A Christmas Story
Donny: A Christmas Story & all the Santa Claus movies 1, 2 & 3.





What are some good names for reindeer?

Remy: Remy. Candy Cane.
Donny: Stormy, Donny, Jackie Chan.
Both boys errupt into nonstop laughter. I can tell my time is growing short for decent answers.





Would Annie be a good reindeer?

Remy: Yes, No, Yes.
Donny: No, wait, Yes..maybe







What would be a good way to make a difference in someone's life for the holidays?

Remy & Donny: build a house for someone who needs one.






Do aliens celebrate Christmas?

Remy: psychologically, they do. (what?! Where did he learn that word? He's 6!)
Donny: No, but they do celebrate their own holidays.

Those are my kids!

Interviewing the Little People

The Vampire giveaway ends Friday at midnight.
One comment a day, every day, for more entries.
Post about the giveaway on your blog for three extra entries.



I've interviewed them before.
You can read one here or here.

Donny is 11 years old and in sixth grade (middle school).
His answers will be in blue.

Remy is 6 years old and in first grade.
His answers will be in red.

My questions and comments will be in this color.

When interviewing little people, you have to start off with questions they enjoy,
to warm them up and make them comfortable.
Then it's safe to work in meatier questions,
but you must always, always end with an alien question.

Here we go:

What's your favorite thing to do with your friends during free time at school?
Remy: Play checkers or tag
Donny: Play around.
Me: What do you mean by playing around?
Donny: We just play around.
Me: Ok.


What's your favorite thing to do on the computer?
Remy: Webkinz
Donny: video games.
Me: Which ones?
Donny: Fun ones.
Me: (Why is he being difficult?)


Why do you think I give you quarters at the grocery store?
Remy: Because you're so nice. (flatterer)
Donny: To get us to behave. (smart boy)


What did you think of my pink highlights?
Remy: Pretty cool.
Donny: Pretty tight.
Me: What does that mean?
Donny: It means cool.


What do you want for Christmas?
Remy: Rockband 2, Legos and a million dollars.
Donny: An underground lab with robots who do anything I say.
Me: Well, I want an iPhone and a laptop computer.


If I try to meet up with some bloggers, such as Kat and Mama Dawg, would you want to go along?
Remy: Probably.
Donny: Yeah, I'd go along to save you from them kidnapping you. Cause that's how I roll.
Me: They might bring their daughters...
Remy: Nope, not going.
Me: Why, Remy, girls can be fun. You know, I'm a girl.
Remy: No, girls aren't fun, only Mommy.
Me: You always have fun with your girl cousins.
Remy: Maybe.


In Star Wars, kids start training to be Jedi's at a very young age. What would you like to start training to be, if you could start now?
Remy: A poop detector. I could get people who poop on the ground.
Me: Good lord. Remy, seriously.
Donny: Hey, you don't want to get me! I pooped that one time...
Me: Um, this is going on the blog.
Remy: That was diarrhea.
Me: Diarrhea is poop, Remy.
Remy: ok, a rock star who plays the drums.
Donny: I'd want to be a football-playing king in outer space.
Me: How on Earth are you going to train for that?
Donny: Well, I'm already playing football. I'll keep studying government at school to learn to be a king, and we know Jim (their grandfather) and he can teach me to be an astronaut.


Do you want a little brother or sister? (This isn't an IRL option, I was just curious about their response!)
Remy: No, because they'd be annoying.
Donny: Yes, a little sister.
Me: Why a sister and not a brother?
Donny: Because Remy's getting boring and I think it'd be fun to have someone different to play with.
At this point, Remy yells at his brother to shut up and starts crying...Donny has to explain he was kidding. UGH


If you discovered Annie was an alien, how would you find out and what would you do?
Remy: Her nose would turn green, so I would know she's an alien, and I'd keep her.
Donny: I'd know she's an alien because she'd poop out a cow. I'd keep her secret from the government.

I gave birth to them but I have no idea how their thinking works!
That's all folks, from the minds of little people.

Ask your kids some of these questions and let me know what they say!!