Wednesday, March 18, 2009

UPDATED: The Jesus Billboard & a Theory on Chickens.

Every day, as a I drive down the highway to work, I pass a huge billboard that reads:

And at the bottom it asks you to text your answer to a *####.

The advertisement is for a church.
And I wonder...what kind of responses they get?

Some answers I thought of were:

a God.
A son.
A carpenter.
A really cool dude.

I'm tempted to text an answer that might not be kosher.

I'd love to have a giant billboard asking a big question like that,
just to see the answers.

Questions like:

What is the Meaning of Life?


Which came first, the Chicken or the Egg?


Why did the Chicken cross the Road?

I'm not obsessed with chickens, I promise.
Although, I used to have to close the chicken coop every night growing up on our ranch.

I remember my dad wringing a chicken's neck once,
and it ran around with it's head flopping for a few minutes,
which traumatized me for life.

My 12 yr old son informed me a chicken lived one whole year running around without it's head.


Maybe if it was an ALIEN CHICKEN.

Come to think of it.
Maybe all chickens are aliens.

Oh! Maybe that's the answer I'll text to the giant billboard tomorrow.

Jesus was an alien chicken.

What would your answer be to the Jesus Billboard?
If you could put a question up, what would you choose?

I think I'm going to go take my meds now.

UPDATE: I tried not to have a wreck while reading the billboard backwards on my way home. I found the number and texted it my answer.

Then black helicopters showed up in the sky and followed me home...


Dawna said...

My answer: The son of God, who just so happens to look like the lead singer for Nickleback.

My Question: Why do men have nipples?

Justine said...

Didn't I tell you yesterday that you were losing your touch with reality? Uh huh, this one just proves my point once again.

Who is Jesus?

He's everyone, and everything.

What question would I want up there?

Why the hell does my toilet seat always loosen?

Justine :o )

lynette355 said...

Who is Jesus?
My plumber,oh you mean Jesus not Jesus'. In these politically correct times I think I am required to read everything in Spanish right?

Ok my question:
Who are all these kids and why are they calling me MOM?

I would prefer a statement on the billboard. Mine would be:
There is always time to dance!
But it would probably advertise some topples club with my luck.

Screwed Up Texan said...

Maybe I am the only one who sees the humor in this, but what is the funniest about all this is that you used both Jesus and Kosher in the same post. He he he.

Answer to Why the Chicken Crossed the Road:

Sprite's Keeper said...

You know, if this billboard was in Mexico, it would get some very different answers.

Jen said...

Can I just say that I LOVE your blog. You never fail to amaze me.

Anonymous said...

My question: What is Paula Abdul really taking?

Christina said...

LOL at Hotpants - I really wanna know the answer to that one, too!

BTW, if you text the church with an answer, I wonder what kind of response you get? Hmm.

the mama bird diaries said...

my girls still don't understand that the chickens you see on the farm are the same as the chicken on their dinner plate. Don't tell them.

Mariah said...

My question would be
WHY do men find farts ammusing?

Melissa said...

I love your blog! Thank you for the welcome to SITS!

My question:
I don't know....I loved the one that asked why men have nipples! I honestly laughed out loud on that one! :)

Hmmmm, Why do I gain 10 pounds from a mere 2 bites of a donut?

Anonymous said...

Who is Jesus? Why my savior of course!

As to questions to put on a billboard...What happened to common sense?

Angie's Spot said...

One of the main characters of a really intriguing book, would be my answer.

As far as what thing I would advertise on a billboard, it would be "Describe yourself in 3 words". I'm always interested in how people view themselves.

Roxane said...

I'm with Sprite's Keeper! LOL
I would ask "who wants to buy me an expensive dinner out?" and then sit home waiting for my phone to ring LOL

AdriansCrazyLife said...

Our church has a message board too. Not a big billboard like that, but it gets a lot of attention. We put funny sayings on it like this:

Read the bible, it'll scare the hell out of you!

Drop by on Sunday and bring the kids.

Don't make me come down there!

Study your bible - there WILL be a test.

If God is your co-pilot, you're sitting in the wrong seat.

I like it. When I mention what church I'm from, people regularly mention our message board, so I guess it's working.

Swirl Girl said...

never mind who Jesus is ...where the hell has he been and when is coming back??

Jill said...

My question would be? Why can't a a damn man remember to put the toilet seat down?

Jill said...

My question would be? Why can't a a damn man remember to put the toilet seat down?

Paula said...

Love the post.

If I got to ask a question, I might ask something like
What have you done to help save the planet today?

Justine said...

I thought you said you took your meds!!!!!!!!

Justine :o )

Sally-Ann said...

I love all the comments, to tired to come up with something witty of my own! I think my question is - today at least - How can a 3-year-old function on 2 hours of sleep and I can't?

Mama Dawg said...

My answer would be: A man.

My question would be: Why do cats have to stick their back leg straight up in the air to lick their private parts?

Lula! said...

Who is Jesus?
It would take far more than a billboard for me to answer that. Or I could simply say, "Redeemer." Because that's what He is to me.

I will not preach here, I promise!

What would I put on a Billboard? An enormous picture of Jason, and a message which reads, "Have You Seen This Man? If So, Please Send Him To Pennington Gap, Virginia."

No, I'm not kidding.

Misty DawnS said...

The Almighty loving, forgiver, redeemer, and savior.

My question:
If a cow laughs hysterically, does milk come out its nose?

Why do we drive on a Parkway and park in a driveway?

Where does the monster in my dryer put all those socks it steals?

Does anyone know where I left my sanity?

Seriously, what is 'normal', and wouldn't that be boring?

OK, OK, I'll stop now... sorry.

Ohhhhhhh one more - for those of us in the blogosphere...
"You know I'm gonna blog this, right?"

Laura Marchant said...

I have to giggle at the comment before me about the cow...that's a good one, lol!

Gretchen said...

Funny to see your post while I'm watching the DaVinci Code. :) Yeah, I know, I'm going to hell for that one. :-p

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