A Conversation over Blokus

As I've shared before, I wanted an iPhone since the year they came out.

and I just got one this month.  for the first time ever!

And I'm totally in love with it.

There are apps to get on Facebook and Twitter, apps to play games, apps to brush up on my Latin and Spanish, apps to look up words and keep a journal, a look up maps, take pictures, check email, and do just about anything I can think of!!

As we sat down to play Blokus Sunday night, we had an interesting conversation.

My almost-13-yr-old said, "Mama, I'll trade you my phone for your phone."

I laughed.  and laughed.  "Sorry, Donny, no way."  and laughed some more.  Kids!

He has friends at school with iPhones.   Middle schoolers!

He thinks for a few minutes, then says, "What can I trade you?  I really want your phone.  I'll give you my iTouch and my phone and anything else..."

I laugh some more.  Tears leaking from my eyes.  "No way.  I'm sorry, Donny, but you have nothing I want.  I LOVE my phone. I don't think you could come up with anything you have that I want right now."

His next answer?

"Well, I have youth."

I stopped laughing.

And he won at Blokus.  Again. 

My Underwear Betrayed Me.

I bought 4 new bras last year around this time.

And within the last month or so, they have all four failed me.

By popping out large killer wires that dig into tender flesh.

See evidence #1:

Here are 2 others, in different colors, that had the same thing happen:

Either my breasts have made enemies with my undergarments, which decided to revolt...

It's an alien conspiracy to shed me from my clothing and spend my hard-earned dollars are more torturous devices.

Which do you think?

Or do you have your own theory?

My Roommates

 

Does GOD have bodyguards?

As I took my almost-13-yr-old son to school this morning, we found ourselves behind a car with a vanity plate.  He was excited because he figured out what it meant.

(Oftentimes we can't figure out what someone's trying to say with their license plates.)

Anyway, I asked him, "Do you know where license plates are made?"

He looked perplexed for a minute.

"In prisons!  They have the inmates do it" I said.

His reply?  "Oh, I knew that, I learned that on Fairly Odd Parents."

A cartoon, ya'll.  He learned that on a cartoon.

Good Lord.

Speaking of The Lord...

Do you think God has body guards?

I mean, I would think he might need them, right?

They don't look dangerous.

Can you tell what's on this pier?

What kind of animal is covering every single inch of it?

The sign in the photo below warns of dangerous Sea Lions.

 

They don't look dangerous, do they?

Jump into my Spirit Nest

Climb up the wooden ladder to the Spirit Nest.

Lie back on the pillows lining the interior.

The commotion of the world ceases to exist.

Maybe we all need one of these in our backyard.

If you want to spend the night in one...or in a yurt, visit the Treebones Resort in Big Sur.

My sister and her husband did this once and had an amazing time!

I think it's the reconnection with nature.

The comfort and security of an enclosed spot.

Maybe I need to create womb-balls...

giant balls with floats inside them to recreate the womb experience.

The Haitians need a cruise.

By now we all know about the earthquake that hit Haiti.

Thousands are dead...and thousands are without water, food and shelter.

My solution?

Princess Cruise Lines or Carnival needs to donate one of their large ships to motor on down to the Caribbean for all people to use.  That way they are off the island and in a safe place.  They will have water and shelter.  And they're safe from after shocks.

And they have a place to stay until we can rebuild or help secure things again down there.

I like my plan.

It solves lots of problems...albeit slightly unconventially and at a huge cost to the cruise line...

but can you put a price on human life?

I think not.

Are you doing anything to help?

$10 to the American Red Cross?

If it comes down to Google vs. China, my money's on Google.

If you happen to listen to the news, you know that China & Google are about to duke it out.

 Google accounts were hacked by perhaps politically-motivated attacks on Chinese human rights activists accounts.

And Google was not the only victim...according to the Official Google Blog "at least twenty other large companies from a wide range of businesses--including the Internet, finance, technology, media and chemical sectors--have been similarly targeted."

Now, Google has been operating in China since 2006, albeit under restrictions and censorship that it agreed to.

But, now, it looks like the gloves are coming off.

Google's had enough, and I agree with them.

I don't approve of censorship.

China kind of freaks me out.

It seems awfully archaic.

Kind of like a perverted great-uncle who wears socks with his sandals.

and makes bad jokes.

And no one wants to sit next to but everyone has to  be nice to because he has a lot of money...

You get the idea.

I've got your back, Google.

BUT, wait a second, I had a thought...

what if Google's been censoring us all along and we've never realized it?!

Crap.

Ok, if I disappear tomorrow after this posts,

then go after Google.

And China.

And Osama Bin Ladin.

Amen.

What stands out like a Red Flag about this Applicant?

"Why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself?"

- This is one of the first things I say when I interview a job applicant.






I've interviewed for fun, like the interviews with my boys and the interview with the Pioneer Woman.
I've also interviewed for work. Serious interviewing for hiring serious job applicants.

And it's been an interesting process that I've learned a lot from.

I can't share the step-by-step approach my company takes, which is rather extensive, but I can share some insights about what you should and shouldn't do, as an interviewee.  In my opinion.

The economy is tough right now.
When we send out a job ad on Craig's List, we get HUNDREDS of applicants emailing their resumes.

It's overwhelming.

So, the first thing that catches my eye?

The subject line of an email.

"Very interested"

"I'm the one you're looking for"

"This job is perfect for me"

Those stand out.

Now, the NUMBER ONE RULE of going to a job interview?

DON'T BE LATE!!

Show up early for goodness sake.

Dress appropriately.

No flip flops.

No extra cleavage.

I spent a whole interview staring at one woman's breasts...and I'm not a lesbian!

They were just...so...there.

Do your research before you arrive.
Know the company's name and what they do.
Don't ask the receptionist these questions as you're waiting.

Have good body language.

Shake firmly.

Make good eye contact.

Smile.

It's ok to be nervous.
That's expected.
But be honest.
Ask questions.
SHOW interest.

Don't answer all the questions by looking out the window.

And please, please turn off your cell phone.

These are the basics, people.

I have more, much more, but follow these simple steps and trust me, you'll make a good impression!

Have you been on an interview lately?

Any interview horror stories?

Celery isn't Lettuce & Elvis isn't Wine.

My mom & I sent my 12 yr old son to get some celery out of the refrigerator...

and he brought back lettuce.

I think we need to talk vegetables.

Maybe I should take my boys to the grocery store and pop quiz them on veggies.

Wait, lettuce and celery ARE vegetables, right?!

We did go to the grocery store the other day...to order my younger son's birthday cake.

He almost choose this one:

But I got distracted by the cupcake section:

There were cupcakes every color of the rainbow.

It was mesmerizing.

And there were cute little cakes in the shapes of bugs.

Cute bugs.

And as we were leaving...I saw a section of wine.

Elvis Wine.

They had hilarious names, like  Jailhouse Rock Merlot

I know Elvis made music...but I don't think Elvis ever made wine.

Do you get Elvis?

I don't.

Maybe I'm not old enough?

Or cool enough?

What celebrity would you like to see on wine?

Do you ever drink wine?

Gorgeous Women, Missing Dignity.

I love reality shows.

And every other year or so, I catch a season of The Bachelor.

Last week was the beginning of a new season.

And I'm horrified.

These women are DESPERATE.

Seriously desperate.

Where is their dignity?!

Where is their pride?!

They were gorgeous.

But they were already talking about loving him...they JUST met him.

They were already talking about marriage and having babies with him.

They JUST MET HIM!

Yes, he's totally hot.  I get that.

But, I don't get the craziness.

I don't get it.

Women were in tears THE FIRST NIGHT.

Maybe I'm feeling cynical because I'm going through a divorce.

Please, Women, show some dignity!

Do you watch any reality shows?

What's your favorite?

I LOVE The Amazing Race and Survivor.

He wore his clothes backwards for a year.

This little guy turns 8 years old today.

He entered life with a bang and hasn't stopped.

His delivery was so fast and furious that the doctor didn't make it.

When he was three years old he decided he wanted to wear his clothes backwards...for an entire year.

His shirts and his pants.  He was adamant about it.

He's smart, sensitive and hilarious.

He's my Remy.

Happy Birthday, Remy!!

Sleepy Annie

Here's a photo of Annie just waking up.

It's not the best photo quality...because I took it on my NEW iPhone!!

I've wanted an iPhone forever.

I finally saved up enough for one.

It's refurbished, so discounted.

I'm SO excited!!!

Pennies for Peace

I struggle.

I struggle with lots of things.

How to be a good parent.

How to get healthy.

How to get organized.

How to make a difference in this world.

How to do good for others.

And I recently read a book that made a difference to ME.

Three Cups of Tea.

And the same person who wrote that book and has made such a huge impact in kids' lives in rural Pakistan and Afghanistan has also started a program called Pennies for Peace.

By participating in Pennies for Peace we can make a positive impact on a global scale, one penny at a time. While a penny is virtually worthless, in impoverished countries a penny buys a pencil and opens the door to literacy.

We can join Pennies for Peace and give lasting hope to children half a world away!

The website for Pennies for Peace offers a free downloadable toolkit to help start the program.

I don't know about you, but I'm thinking of letting my sons' teachers know about it so they can do it at school...and I may try to start it at work, so I can feel like I'm making a difference somewhere, somehow.

That is SO important to me. 

Drinking Silver turns you Blue

I have a family member who watches all Oprah and Dr. Oz shows.

And she sent me a bunch of quizzes to take...from those shows.

To see how much health and geography I know.

And I learned a lot from those quizzes...including that drinking silver turns you BLUE.

But this poor man who is blue has found true love...with a Smurf!!

haha just kidding.

Try your hand at these quizzes.

See how much you really know...or don't know.

World Culture Quiz

Dr. Oz Health Quiz

Also, soaking your feet in tea is a surefire way to get rid of foot odor.

Do you know any helpful tidbits like that?!!

The Y2K Bug attacked the frigerator & either it or the dog gave my son strep throat.

I stayed up New Year's Eve playing Monopoly with my boys.

And then the refrigerator stopped working.

It started with the ice...and then the water...and then the cooling...

I thought I broke it, but it turns out it had something to do with the motherboard.

It seems like an off coincidence that it broke right at the new year.

So, I think the Y2K bug of 2010 got it.

It couldn't handle 2010.

And the first day of the new year, my older son came down with strep throat.

Only we just thought it was a sinus infection.

Boy were we wrong.

We had a doctor tell us once that dogs can give you strep throat.

That they are carriers.

So I GOOGLED it ( I google everything!)

and found out that's quite a controversial topic in the medical community.

Maybe the refrigerator gave it's Y2K 2010 bug to my son.

and now it's stalking me...

How did YOUR New Year begin?!

P.S. OMG, do NOT Google Images "Strep Throat."  It's disgusting.

and apparently some people can get it on their feet?!!

There's a Skull Growing in the Kitchen.

You thought I was kidding?

It starts out a few inches tall...and you throw it in water...and watch it GROW!
It's a novelty toy from Toy Joy, the best toy store ever, in Austin, Texas.
I lived in Austin for 18 years!
Before that I lived on a ranch.

Now I'm getting off track...

A gigantic growing skull is a little creepy, but we can consider it science, right?

Oh, speaking of science!

My 12 yr old's science experiment is currently being stored in the kitchen as well.





Wanna guess what he's doing?

Bedazzled Designer Face Masks will be all The Rage by next Winter.

All of you with kids know that we're supposed to cough and sneeze a "new" way now, right?

The Bloggess was talking about this recently as well.

Instead of into your hands, you're supposed to do it into your sleeve...or armpit direction.

This is to help prevent the spread of viruses. 

Makes sense and sounds easy, in theory...but it's much harder to practice.

My "new cough" form sucks.

I get an F in execution.

BUT, the solution may be to walk around wearing those surgeon face masks instead.

The ones I've seen are freaky and something out of a horror movies, frankly, so we need to start making them in different colors...and personalized with nicknames and sayings....DESIGNER face masks!

Those pictured above are not exactly what I had in mind.
I was thinking nice color combinations with pink and brown and turquoise,
with swirls or flowers or plaids or stripes...

and we need to bedazzle the crap out of them.

Because I buy anything that's shimmery or shiny or has rhinestones.


Questions for you:

Have you ever bedazzled anything?

Would you ever bedazzle anything?

Would you wear a face mask?

Do you sneeze or cough the "new" way?