The Epic Battle of the Orange Sweatshirt

Sunday's Epic Battle with Remy was ...
over a sweatshirt.

Which I insisted he bring to his 1 1/2 hour outdoor batting practice in 40 degree weather.

I rushed home from work to attend his school Open House.
Then we rushed home to change clothes
and leave for his batting practice.

We loaded into the car and took off.
One block later, I realized he was in a t-shirt and shorts.
And it was COLD.
So, I turned around and went back home,
and made him run inside to get a sweatshirt.

He freaked out.
He didn't NEED the sweatshirt.
He didn't want to be late.
He hated me.
I was the worst mom ever. 

He ended up wearing it the entire practice.


Why does he fight me?
When I'm so clearly right?


After the practice, I got him to admit he was wrong.
and that I was right.
that he was GLAD he had his sweatshirt. 

Call me ridiculous, but I savored that moment
That moment of pure motherhood bliss. 



 

Art of a Different Sort

As I wandered the halls of my son's elementary school last night,
I discovered some interesting new artwork on the walls.

Here's one created by my 10-year-old, Remy.
(I've shared his artwork before, my little madcap prevaricator!)

It took me a second, then I figured out what was going on in this piece.

Can you guess?

My Boys' Christmas Wish List

It's that time of year again.
The time of year that relatives begin asking what my boys want for Christmas.

I usually ask the boys to make a list.
They haven't given me their lists yet,
but I do know the most important items on them.


At the top of my teenager's wish list this year:

• An amp ... for his electric bass guitar. 
• Halo 4 (a video game) 

  At the top of my 10-yr-old's wish list this year:

• a double-bass pedal for his drum set 
• Call of Duty Black Ops 2 (a video game) 

 I'm sensing a lot of noise in my future.




 

I Don't Drink

I don't really drink.
I'm not against drinking,
but I just really don't drink alcohol.

I don't buy it.
I don't have it in my home.

Maybe because I have had some alcoholics in my life?

I really never drink,
Except on a rare occasion ...

like the one a few months back
when I saw these adorable, individual-sized wine bottles
at the grocery store.

So, I picked up a couple,
bought them,
took them home
and put them in the refrigerator
to promptly forget about them
for months.

Until tonight.


Tonight, I decided I felt like a little wine.
I had to hunt through my refrigerator to find those tiny bottles.

About halfway through one bottle,
I was done,
that was enough.

And then my 10-year-old found it and looked shocked.
(I told you, I never drink)
Then he ran to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator.
When he came back to me, he said, "Darnit, we don't have any orange juice."

What?!

He continued, "We can't make mimosas."

WHAT?!

"Remy, how do you know what mimosas are? When have you had a mimosa?"

He game me a little smile and said, "Oh, I've had one before, they're great."

LOVELY.

A Brief Snapshot

Last night was baseball practice. I try to bring Annie, because it's a chance for her to get some exercise, run after her ball and enjoy nature.

My 10-year-old has 3 baseball games this week.  3! And my 15-year-old has a football game. It's going to be a loooong, busy week. But, I have to admit, watching my boys play sports is one of the biggest joys in my life, so I don't mind.

I'm relieved that they are both feeling healthy and able to play.
Not but a few months ago, Remy was having surgery and sick.
And Donny was still recovering from knee surgery.

I'm thankful they are feeling better.
We still have issues, but things are looking better.

Relieved.
Happy.
On ward.

 

How Do You Want To Die?

Last night was Curriculum Night at the high school.
I'll have another post about that tomorrow.

However, as we were leaving the high school and headed home,
my 10-year-old posed a question.

"How do you want to die?"

 My 15-year-old immediately responded, "Of natural causes in old age."
To which the 10-year-old says, "Oh, that's boring."

I was still flabbergasted by the question.

Where had this come from?
Had he been thinking about death?
Had someone been talking to him about dying?
He thinks certain ways to die are boring?!
I'm clearly on the verge of a full blown panic.

Before I completely freaked out, I decide to ask him,
"How do you want to die?"

He has his answer ready.
"Being chased off a cliff by naked women."

My jaw dropped.

Both boys dissolve into giggles.
Good lord have mercy.


(for those of you who don't know, apparently that is a scene from one of the Monty Python movies.)


 

Elementary School Black Market

Yesterday was the first day of school in our part of North Texas,
the end of a rough summer,
and I couldn't wait to hear how the day went for my boys.


My younger son had a really rough summer, involving various medical issues and surgery.
And he was very nervous about returning to school and handling his chronic nausea issues.


I gave him medication before he left for school.
We talked about how he'd handle things if he started to feel sick.
I worried about him all day.
Hoped things were going well.


 However, when I picked him up,
one of the first things he said ...


was that he had traded two Hexbugs for a Pokemon game.


Guess the first day was a success.


Did you know that there was an elementary school black market?
Did you ever trade things at school?
What has your child come home with?




  

The End of a Rough Summer

Today is his first day in 10th grade.




Today is his first day in 5th grade.


Today is the End of a Rough Summer and the first day of school in our part of North Texas.
The end of a really, rough summer.

 My 10-year-old starting getting sick in May.
After weeks of pain and nausea ...
and tons of medical tests,
he had surgery in June to remove his gallbladder and appendix. 

Then, after some bumps in the healing process,
we ended up back at the doctor's office
and he ended up with a new diagnosis of Abdominal Migraines. 

 Needless to say, he's had a rough summer.
No summer camps.
Canceled trip to Disney.
Lots of indoor time healing.

The 15-year-old spent the summer healing from his 2nd knee surgery
and learning how to drive.

It has been a stressful summer, to say the least.

 But, I've watched my older son become more confident in his driving
and continue to grow into such a fine young man.

 And I've seen my younger son overcome adversity
and begin drum lessons and return to baseball.

 I have hope as we go into fall ...
hope that this will be a great year.
And thankful we survived the summer.



 

Communication Issues and Spiders, Oh My.

Last night, I piled my younger son and the big dog
into the car to drive to the high school to pick up my older son from football practice.

(Miss Annie, the big dog, refuses to jump into the car now,
so I have to heft and heave her big boned body into the car.
And end up covered with hair.
BTW, she jumps in for my older son.
And I'm the one who feeds her and takes care of her.  Ahem.)

Anyway, the weather was unseasonably cool,
so we had the windows down and were cruising through the dark,
somewhat quieter part of town.

It was peaceful.
Serene.
Destined to be interrupted by noise and chaos.

And, of course, the calm is broken by my younger son yelling out, "Spider! Ahh!"

And then I respond with a "Ahhh! no!!!  Where?!"
as I slam my foot to the brakes.

There's no response from the backseat,
so I turn around and find ...

my younger son deep in his Minecraft game on my iPad,
battling digital spiders.


Good grief.





 

Texts from a 10-Year-Old on Mother's Day

My younger son has inherited his older brother's cell phone
and discovered the joy of texting.

Texting me.

When we went out to eat with family on Mother's Day,
he quickly became bored
and started texting me surreptitiously from the same table...

Remy: We need to swim NOW

Me: True that. Word. 

Remy: (word?) true that double true
Remy: Ready to swim?

 Me: Soon my little tadpole. Soon. 

Remy: If im a tadpole then ur an egg
Remy: Egg

Me: Frog 

Remy: tadpole 
Remy: dog

Me: puppy poop 

Remy: 2shea

Me: touche?

Remy: What evs
Remy: Its called S L A N G
Remy: Don't matter i luve u
Remy: i mean i love u

Me: I love you too! 

Remy: i love u more

Me: I love you most of the mostest. 

Remy: imposible.

Me: possible.

 

Force of Nature

We've just returned from California.

Where my boys met the Pacific Ocean for the first time.

And in this very moment, my younger son, 

a Force of Nature, 

encountered a true Force of Nature, 

the ocean in Big Sur.

They collided.

And came to a mutual resolution.

But, we're lucky he didn't cause an earthquake. 

A Little Piece of Childhood Died Last Night

A little piece of childhood died last night in our household.

My 10-year-old lost a tooth.

(more like he wiggled and waggled and pulled it out)

Wiggling teeth bother me.

I once had a dream where all my teeth wiggled and then crumbled out of my mouth.

So, I don't like dealing with loose teeth.

And, then he held it out in his hand to show me,

and said, "Here's my tooth, where's my money?"

I guess the tooth fairy has officially retired in our household.

 

Catcher Remy

2-hour baseball scrimmage today...

and I managed to burn.

Yes, I'm that pale.

Time to break out the sunscreen!

On the other hand, my Remy played catcher!

 

Everyone Needs an Alien Invasion Escape Plan

As I drove my 9 yr old son to school one day this week, 

we somehow ended up discussing what he would do if aliens attacked his school.

Everyone should visit this subject with their child at one point or another, 

don't you think?

I mean, the schools have fire drills, tornado drills, and other safety drills...

so don't you think they need an Alien-Invasion drill?

I think so.

My son said he'd grab his best friend, and they'd head out of the school towards the woods and our place. He attached a compass to his backpack to aid his sense of direction.

He's going to prepare a water gun to hold anti-alien fortified water 

and toss out marbles to distract them while he runs away.

Such a smart kid. 

I'm proud!

Egyptian Connection

When my stepfather went to Egypt last month, he brought back souvenirs for my boys.

One of those gifts was some Egyptian money.

And, I just found out, that Remy, my 8 yr old, brought that money to school...

and charged his friends $2 each to see it!!!

Remy the Viking

This kid is so cool.

He has every NERF gun possible.

He's smart and sweet.

He's super athletic, but also loves video games.

He's a little tightly wound at times, but he's my sweet Remy.

Next up: Donny got his braces off! Woohoo!!

My Roommates

 

He wore his clothes backwards for a year.

This little guy turns 8 years old today.

He entered life with a bang and hasn't stopped.

His delivery was so fast and furious that the doctor didn't make it.

When he was three years old he decided he wanted to wear his clothes backwards...for an entire year.

His shirts and his pants.  He was adamant about it.

He's smart, sensitive and hilarious.

He's my Remy.

Happy Birthday, Remy!!

Alien Goo & My 7 yr old Security System.

This 7 yr old son of mine is a handful.

He literally vibrates with energy...and emotion.

I let him download free game apps to my iPod Touch, and now I have to fight him to get any time with it.

Guess what's on his Christmas wishlist?

(By the way I really, really want an iPhone. Ahem)

The other day he came home from a birthday party with this goo.

It's wet...but semi-solid...and it jiggles like jello.

I think it's bio terrorism from China

or

mind-controlling matter from Aliens.

Then there's this.

His affinity for weapons.

He can't have enough NERF guns and ammo.

He's either gonna end up in law enforcement or the military...

or JAIL!!

Burglers and trespassers, Beware.

He's got our yard covered.

And on that note...

I found this note in my son's backpack:

"Remy, I'm sorry
what I did.
I shouldn't have done that.
Next time I will through away the paper
and at that time at school
I was feeling weird so
I just wrote it for no resin
so I don't know what I whas doing
just fieling not very nice."

Your friend,
So-and-so


Wow, huh?
Remy won't give me the details or tell me what happened.

So, on that note...
I'm left perplexed.

What do you think happened?!