Gnome me, please

I'm also over at Sunshine and Lemonade today for a strange post,

and

I'm helping promote a wonderful giveaway on Life with my 3 Boybarians.


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I have something to confess.

I'm really into mythology...and I want a garden gnome.

Today, Gnomes are traditionally thought of as being small, bearded and wearing pointed, colorful, conical hats. They live in natural areas close to the Earth, care for wildlife, and are more benevolent than other folkloric creatures. They are made in various poses and pursuing various pastimes, such as fishing or napping.

I want one.
Maybe it will help me be a better gardener?

Every now and then I get a wild hair and just want something strange.
So I decided to look around online.



And look, I found an University of Texas Longhorn Gnome!

Then there's this little guy.
I thought he just looked surprised,
and then I read the description below:

He looks cute enough, but when you pass by, this Farting Gnome lets out unexpected gassy explosions along with a series of several seam-splitting comments sure to stun his victims. Hidden motion sensor is sure to surprise all that cross his path.





And then, there was this one. Which I can't believe I'm putting on the blog...
but how much would you start laughing if you came across this is someone's garden?!!

I'm so glad it's Friday!!!
Our weekend began last night, because the boys have Friday and Monday off from school,
so it's a long, four day weekend for us.



Any weekend plans?
I'm going to our local Trade Days!!

My Life is a Bad Country Song

I will announce the giveaway winner later today.

Did you see my interview with Pioneer Woman?

In high school, I used to listen to country music every now and then.
Not any country music, but really cool, rockin' country music.
Like David Allen Coe.

Listen to the first line or two of this song.
It will set the mood for the rest of this post, I promise.
(he talks for the first minute though, ignore all that)

I love how hilarious country songs can be.

Most of them are about being faithful to their bottle or an ode to alcohol, how they can rely on their horse but not on fickle women who've done them wrong.

Well, the other morning, as I was up at 4am, I was suddenly inspired to write a country song about my night. I've never written a song before, much less a country one.

Don't laugh too hard. You can't chant it or sing it softly...you have to croon it at the top of your lungs, preferably holding an empty liquor bottle. Ok, ready?

It's dedicated the chore I had to do at 4am after my child exploded every possibly bodily fluid on the walls and floor of my bathroom.


Here we go:

Take this sh*t & Shove it

When there's diarrhea on the walls,
don't bother me no more with calls

you won't believe how many Clorox wipes it took
I've had to throw away all the bathroom books,

In the middle of the night with my breasts hangin to my lap
I can't handle NO MORE CRAP.

I'm hangin' up my mop and gloves
because cleaning don't return the love

the fumes have gone to my head
I just want to go back to bed.

How much puke can one boy spew?
if you were my enemy I wouldn't wish this on you.

The smells have singed my nostril hairs,
this kind of chore just isn't fair.

I'm in bed holding on tight
to my pillow tonight
praying the sick will pass on by
or I just might have to give in and cry.

Yep, it's official.
I've lost my mind.

Sucked In

I have a secret to share with you.

A secret addiction.
Ok, I admit it, one of many addictions.

I've finally found my green thumb.

For the last few weeks I've been tending to my own garden.

It's amazing.
I dig holes, bury the seeds, water them and watch it grow.
I can add fertilizer for bonus growth.
I've grown buttercups, daisies, turnips and pumpkins,
blackberry bushes, water lilies, apple trees and banana trees.
and many, many more.

And, I've learned what plants attract which animals.
taking the many required steps to tame the wild animals and let them live in my garden.

I have bees that produce honey in my honey hive.
I have sheep that produce wool and cows milk.

I pay helpers to come work for me.

I build houses for the animals, so they can romance and make babies.

Now I have a mine, with diggers who find treasures.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about,
then you need to get on board quickly.

This game is the best I have ever played.

Viva Pinata!

We discovered it two years ago and played it all the time.

and then this fall the newest version came out,
so the boys and I have been sucked back in again.

We play together, each having our own gardens.
We share money, so we have to balance out who spends what and who works on making more money for the collective.
We all work together at attracting the hard-to-get animals
and figuring out how to keep them.

You can put up decorative accents in your garden, fences and such.
and there are lots of secret ways to do things that you have to figure out.

And you have to be creative about keeping the bad guys out of your garden.
They're called Ruffians, and they like to destroy things.

And then there are the sour pinatas you have to turn good.

It's a game for all ages and all types.
The boys and I have a blast playing it.
It's seriously addictive.
We've been sucked in.

And it's the only place I don't seem to kill plants.

Painting Rocks

Treasure Hunt

Every now and then I get the creative bug, and I come up with an idea. I decided to make up a treasure hunt for my boys.

First I made up clues...silly, rhyming phrases to help the kids guess where the next clue was hidden.

I'm not going to share all of them, because that's slightly embarrassing, but here's the first one:

We’re going to play a little game,
Because watching TV all day is really lame.

To find the treasure, follow the clues
And play fair, or everyone will lose.

The next clue is where Mama blogs,
Is she the guiltiest of being a computer hog?

Here is my pile of clues before I started taping them around the house in hidden places.

Here are the boys with their first clue, ready to go hunting for treasure! They were excited and even willing to put up with me and my camera for the occasion.

One clue led them to the mailbox.

another to the bird feeder.
and even to the recycling bin in the garage. I think I had about 15 clues in all.
Culminating to the final clue,

This is the final clue you’ve been waiting for,
Head to the place you get water on the floor.

A treasure awaits you, if you’ve been good.
In the place where you bath often, or at least you should.

which led to the master bathroom, where I had hidden the treasure in our big tub. Most of it was silly stuff from the Target dollar section, but a few bigger things, like Lego kits and the TV show Two and a Half Men on DVD.

They had a lot of fun (and so did I)!!