Thursday, July 3, 2008

Confessions & A Give-away

I won a giveaway not long ago where the prize was two books writte by Carrie, whose blog, The Gremlin Wrangler, I frequent often. She works as a cashier at a grocery store, but that's not her true talent. She can sing, write, draw, and wrangle gremlins. She has a wonderfully creative and funny view on life and shares this through her hilarious observations of the people (or nutcases) who come through her line in the grocery store.

I have now read both of her books, volume one and two. They're quick reads, and I laughed a lot while reading them (the other parents in the orthodonitist's office gave me looks. I've been there a lot lately because Donny is in the four-appointment process of getting braces this summer.)

You really should read this collection of letters. You can order them from Lulu Books in print version to be mailed to you or you can download them e-book style. Let me just share a few quick glimpses into what you can expect out of these books:

1. People show up to shop in odd outfits, P.J.'s and barely there swim suits.

2. People who have odd comments or share inappropriate snippets of their personal life.

3. Creepy people who will totally freak you out!

4. Rude people who take out their frustrations on the cashier, or chat on their cell phone, or who demand unreasonble requests.

5. couples who treat each other disrespectfully and air dirty laundry in public...or mother/daughter and other family combinations with hilarious interactions, both good and bad.

6. the weird combinations of stuff people buy that leave her wondering what they're up to...

The late night customers are the some of the scariest.

I enjoyed these two books so much. Carrie is wonderful at finding humor in every situation, and some of the stuff she has had to deal with, wow! As she frequently states, "Laughter is the social glue." I'm impressed.

So, please, buy or download these books or check out her site, because she often shares these stories on her blog too.

AND, since I won these books in a giveaway, I have decided to share the wealth and pass them along in another giveaway!

SO, if you want to receive this HILARIOUS collection, leave a comment on my site letting me know you're interested and give me a good grocery store story. (and go check out Carrie's site The Gremlin Wrangler).

I was trying to think of a good story of my own...I've lost children in the store, lost my elderly father on his scooter in the store (and he's dangerous on that thing). I had emergency runs to the bathroom in there...I could go on and on.

I'll let my little gremlins pull the winner out of a hat midnight Saturday night. Well, the contest cut off is midnight, I won't let the boys pick a winner out of the hat until Sunday morning, but you get the idea.

Everytime I go to the grocery store now, I feel like I have inside information, and I keep an eye out for those crazies. :o)


Angie's Spot said...

I just spent some time on Carrie's site tonight and it is delightful! Without recapping my whole grocery store nightmare, I'll simply defer to my post from earlier this week. I've still not recovered from that little shopping excursion. LOL.

Utter Basketcase said...

Wow there is so much talent in blogland isn't there!!

I'll pass on this one because I was fortunate enough to win the bestest pink cowgirl hat in da world!!! So I'll give someone else a chance!

But I will share my most (unfortunately) vivid memory in a shop! And that was - busting an old ugly man MASTERBATING in the corner of the shop! *Cringes* xx

Unknown said...

Tesco in the UK late one night (10pm), me in the fruit aisle checking melons opposite a man doing the same in his 20/30's. So there I am sniffing and pressing, when I notice he has 3 LARGE melons in his trolley.

So I open my big trap without thinking and say to him "I take it you are needing some more large melons, I have some over here" As he starts to grin I realise what I just said and flush deep red from my boots to my roots.

He chuckles, winks at me and says "are you offering then, c'os they look mighty fine from over here"

I burst out laughing and turned on my heel and ran away very red-faced. I saw him later at the checkout and he winked at me!

Now I'd better win after 'fessing up to that my friend!

(Btw - melons is slang for breasts in the UK)

Krystyn @ Really, Are You Serious? said...

I love a hilarious easy read..pick me, pick me!

I made my hubby (then boyfriend) hold up two melons in front of himself and take a picture...and no, I wasn't drunk! Poor guy. And he still married me!

Oh, and I've had my share of emergency bathroom trips, too! Yuck!

Kori said...

I want some new reads.

0k now on to my story.

Just the other day I'm in the Grocery store and I'm over by the Milk. I proceed to grab the milk, then some sheese put it in the buggy. I continue walking along just grabbing and putting in the cart. Then I look down and realize thatthe buggy is full and I haven't really bought much. Then I see it in bright yellow. CLEARANCE ITEMS ALL 1 DOLLAR.

I noticed people giving me strange looks and never thought anything about it.

So I push this buggy back to wear I last remember seeing it and there sits my own buggy with all the stuff I had gotten in it. So I grab the few things I had put in the clearance buggy and put them in my buggy. I proceed on shopping with really red cheeks of embarrassment and a giggle.

Sometimes I don't know where my mind goes.

Mama Dawg said...

I'm totally interested.

Back when I lived in Florida and still lived with my mom, we were shopping at the grocery store and we were on the aisle that had the Depends and the condoms (two items totally not compatible with each other). No one else was on the aisle at that exact moment. Mom, thinking she's be a total smart ass, says "Hey, do you need some condoms?". The second she finished getting the words out of her mouth, a man walked around the corner onto our aisle and I quickly responded, "No, but I think you ran out of Depends. Do you need me to get some for you?"

The man started laughing which set me off. She was so embarrassed but was such a good sport about it. That taught her!

Keys to the Magic Travel said...

Pardon me. Perhaps you will recall who I am. I am Queen Kat. Queen of random drivel. And I am also a princess in my own right. Because I don't grocery shop. Ever. So, I have no stories to share. You could ask my husband to tell you about the time he witnessed a fist fight between two women in the 10 items or less aisle because one of the two had more than 10 items...

CrystalChick said...

She has a nice site, I visited and left a little comment. Will have to stop back again as you have so many people on your sidebar to check out there's not enough time!!

I am going to pass on the giveaway this time as I have many books yet to read and bookmarks in lots others but will keep it in mind for the future. I'm sure her stuff is reallllly good!

I'm s l o w l y working on a giveaway of my own. So-far I have a movie and have to decide on which piece of jewelry to include and whatever else comes to mind. It's so fun to give isn't it!!?

CrystalChick said...

Okay, there's no catching Kat, but seriously, Giggles, I thought I had you beat for comments. LOL

OHmommy said...

Sorry I have been MIA.... vacation and all. Butwanted to make sure I came over and visited your blog since you said ti was nice and new.




So pretty, so clean, and sooooo fun! Way to go Rhea!!!

carrie said...

thanks for doing this Rhea! I'm loving all the stories!

Jen said...

Ooo, Ooo! I want to enter. I want to enter. Pick me, pick me. I love books like that.
The only store horror that I can think of is when I barely pregnant with the triplets, but I looked like I was going to give birth any day. Hayden and I were at the grocery story and we were stalked by this old lady in a pink baseball cap. She commented once, how cute Hayden was and she wanted to hold him. I politely, said No! For the rest of the trip, she kept showing up around every corner. I was getting a little freaked out. As I was loading my purchases into the chart, she tried to pick Hayden up out of the chart seat. That was the last straw, I screamed, "STOP! DON'T TOUCH MY CHILD!" I then pushed the chart out of the store as fast as I could, almost knocking her over. Think that I forgot a few things but oh well. I got the most important one. :)

Indy said...

I'd love to win these books. I worked retail so I can relate. Lots of crazies in the world.

Rhea said...

Angie - Oh, gosh, how could I have forgotten your grocery moment this week?! I would totally have PTSD from that, and I don't blame you for running from my site. lol

Giggle/Rae - There is a lot of talent in blogland. Has your pink cowboy hat ever arrived? I have no idea how long it takes mail to reach you...Surely soon though... And, OMG, an old ugly man playing with himself is just about the worst story yet. ick gross. But, I've gotta ask...what section of the store was he in?!! Not the meat secion or the kiddie section, PLEASE.

Britgal Sarah - Melons means the same thing here. hehe I thought your story was HILARIOUS. Just love it. Love the man's sense of humor too. hehe I hope you're enjoying your visit with your mom!

Krystyn - Oh, can you share the pic of your hubby with the melons? That's fun. Sounds like you both have a great silly side. I love that. I rarely have my camera in the grocery store with me...but maybe I should take it and get pics of the kids doing silly stuff. My hubby hates to set a foot inside grocery stores.

Kori - That's so funny you grabbed a display cat!! hehe I've grabbed someone else's cart before, that was embarrassing. UGH, thanks for reminding me. I had buried that little tidbit away. Great story!

Mama Dawg/Amily - Sorry, I can't help calling you Amily because it's such a fun word to say in my head!! You and your mom sound hilarious. I love your embarrassing banter. You think quick on your feet too, I'm impressed. What a great story, I love it!! Thanks for sharing.

Queen Kat of the Random Drivel - I forgot you do not grace grocery stores with your presence like the rest of peons have to. BUT, I'm shocked about a female fist fight in the express aisle! No way!!

Crystal Chick - Thanks for going by to check out Carrie's site. Her letters are hilarious as are her gremlin (children and dogs) stories. Do a giveaway, do a giveaway! You HAVE to. You make such cute stuff and a movie, oh, fun! And, no, no one can keep up with Queen Kat of Random Drivel in the comment section. I'm queen of her comments too. We're chatty like that.

OhMommy - Thanks for stopping by, I'm so glad you like the site! I normally wouldn't ask you over, but I thought you'd want to see the blog makeover!

Jen - You have a scary story! I can't believe she followed you around and tried to pick him up even after you said NO. SCARY. Serious baby snatcher/stalker material. That would have totally freaked me out. I mean, I understand stalking cute babies, but not trying to hold them when the mom said NO. hehe

Indy - I think jobs were you have to deal with lots and lots of people has to result in some amazing stories. Reality is stranger than fiction most of the time. I've heard some weird stuff, and Carrie's books about being a cashier was chock full of fabulous stuff like that. Fun reads.

Keys to the Magic Travel said...

Yes, leave my title of queen commenter alone. I worked very hard to leave lots and lots of comments (mostly gratuitous) to gain my title back and I'm not going down without a fight. But I will happily watch the showdown for second place.

Jennifer said...

wow. is this perfect timing or what... i was going to post about this... and i very well might still do that... but here you go... i'll give you the first read on my grocery store story...

it was yesterday... i went to the lovely wally world b/c i needed to have a new eye exam b/c i need new frames b/c mine broke... long really LONG story here, but we'll save that...

anyway... after my appointment that took over an hour... ugh... well b/c i had to wait more than 30 mins to be seen... we were done. Bryan went off to work and I had the three kids in the store, to fend for myself. I had to get some grocery items for food that we are bringing to 4th of July parties this weekend...








complete with all types of animals... pigs, cows, and most of all jack-asses!! ( okay maybe not a zoo as much as it was a farm ... but you get the point)

you could barely walk any where let alone get your cart through any place... and people just refuse to...

a) use manners OF ANY KIND!!
b) move the hell out of the way, even after you have said excuse me about 5 times.
c) use common sense, what-so-ever
d) have any manners!! seriously!
e) be descent human beings and use their freakin' brains, not even a little bit!!
f) use ANY manners... AT ALL!!!

okay.. you get the point. :) I had to back down an isle and tell of this 16-17 yr old boy that slammed my cart so hard, for NO reason and then said nothing and kept walking... that I was still feeing the vibration of the handle as I backed down the isle to ask this moron why he couldn't even say sorry or whatever. He stood there staring at me, like he was from another planet... or like I was. I could have killed him. I ended up yelling at him and telling the rules of common courtesy. ugh!!

then i had some lady think that she could tell my children where to stand, when A. they weren't in her way and B. I, you know, their mother, told them to stand right where they were standing. ugh. I had to give her a nice eye roll and mind your G-damn business look.

I also had Brooke & Lauren whining and fighting over who the hell was going to sit in the shopping cart.. yeah this from the two kids that NEVER want to sit there any other damn time... even when I beg them to sit there... yeah. this trip they both "needed" to sit there. ugh.

And when I went to check out the credit card thing got unplugged some how... so the front end manager came over and fixed it... then it took forever to come back online... then it still wouldn't work... so they had to suspend my order and take me to another check out... in the mean time there was some rude asshat behind me running his mouth about the "dumb cashier" I had to politely tell him OFF. ass hat... it is NOT her fault it the computer... she is doing the best she can so just shut it!!

then on the way to the other register so I could pay... I got accused of trying to cut someone on in line... OH please... you see me with my groceries in bags, in the cart following the cashier... gimme a break... I had to get loud with that lady too... please honey. save it for the streets!! lol

so after having one hell of a time shopping, and making it through the zoo... and fighting with all kinds of people I'm out the door to the parking lot when all of a sudden my damn flip-flop broke!! ugh. All I thought was that all the people I told off would get a big kick outta seeing me with one shoe. I tried to drag it along... but the part hat goes between your toes came out of the bottom of the shoe... so there was no way... I pick up and throw it in the cart... only it bounces out the other side.. in trying to get the flip flop, control the cart that is running into the back of my ankles make sure Lauren stays sitting, Trevor doesn't let go and go off into the parking lot and hold brooke, I go around to the other side of the cart pick up my broken flip flop and put it in the cart... and walk barefoot in the NASTY parking lot the truck... hoping that none of the butt wads I was nasty to sees me. lol

whatta day!


and seriously this is true... I wish I could make this shit up... but I'm not that good.



Insane Mama said...

Great post Rhea! I feel lucky because I won the other pink hat!

I used to go to the store and put tampons, midol, comdoms, tylenol, cheap beer and an enema and I thought I was hilarious. I told the cashier that it was a bad night but things were looking up.
I did this a lot and well...
It was fun at the time.

Claremont First Ward said...

These books look great. We have a chain up here called WINCO. Cheapest groceries around, but also the creepiest shoppers. One day my friend got followed around by a man with a screw driver. When she asked for help they told her they had been watching on surveillance. Hello? Why wouldn't they stop the guy?

Anonymous said...

My daughter, Tori, works at WalMart, and hopes I win so she can compare stories! Everything she read on your post she said, "Uh huh, yep, oh yeah, uhummm" get the gist.....

Thank God she's a minor and can't work past 9pm!

Cristin said...

I was a cashier at a grocery store during high school and summers in college... I had a woman put a voodoo curse on me for not letting her through the 10 items or less.. with her full cart. She told me my boyfriend was going to cheat on me... I told her I was a lesbian.

The CDM said...

About that #4, I really hate when people do that to cashiers, especially when the cashier did absolutely nothing wrong.

I have been known to turn the tables on those people when they start that crap at checkout and I'm next in line. One time I told this guy and his wife/girlfriend who were unloading on a cashier to shut up and move it along because I didn't have all day for them to bicker about a price they should have checked on themselves BEFORE checkout. I can be very persuasive, especially when I have milk in the cart.

Rhea said...

Jennifer - Oh my gosh, your story is somethin' else. By the time you got to your flipflop breaking, I was just lost in laughter. So much for making a dignified exit. hehe

Insane Mama - I'm still waiting for that picture of your sweet Amy in the hat. I mean, Annie really wants to see it. She's never had a cyberfriend before. And, I LOVE your checkout story. I want to try that sometime, just to see what kind of response I'd get.

Angie - The books are HILARIOUS! And quick reads. OGM about the screwdriver stalker. That's totally freaky. I can't believe that. I would be so creeped out.

Sidney - OH, get some stories from your daughter and share them, please! I'm totally addicted to these types of funny sharings. WalMart's bound to have some good ones.

Cristin - I'm such a fan of your sense of humor. And, a voodoo curse? That's so cool! I've never had someone put one on my before. That seems like one of those things that would be fun to share...when drunk at parties, of course. And, I love your response to her. I wish I could come up with those kind of remarks back to people on the spot. I'm just not that good.

Complaint Department Manager - I may need to know your real name soon since you're a regular visitor now. I love that you standup for the cashier!! You rock for not putting up with crap and moving things along. :o) If I was the cashier, I'd throw in a freebie. Just sayin' :o)

The CDM said...

The name's Bond...James Bond.

Utter Basketcase said...

Ooooooo I totally forgot about the pink hat coming!!! No it's not here yet, but don't stress, it can take a while... either that or Postman Twat has stolen it! :-P I'm sure it will turn up soon!

And The old fella was busted wanking at department store in the mans underwear section! LOL Don't worry, there were no kids near by! xx

Anonymous said...

I need a good laugh! Why yes, yes I do!

Jules said...

Well here I return from vacation and I missed and so much has happened. You won ANOTHER contest! Wow! Good for you, you lucky thing. And how nice of you to advertise and pass it along!